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Cross-posted from hentai contest


Title: Of Sausages and Noodles
Fandom: Hetalia
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: Germany/Italy
Genres: romance, humor
Warnings: none
Word Count: 666
Summary: Italy has a problem when he compares sausages to noodles…
Author’s notes: Special thanks to my beta Jen, for looking it over and editing it.

Germany stepped into the shower and sighed. Alone at last… he thought. He had spent the afternoon training hard and he jumped at the chance to relax while his friend Italy puttered around the kitchen. The warm water coursed down his body in a pleasing way, and grabbing the shampoo, he washed his hair. His fingers massaged his scalp, releasing the tension that was threatening to erupt into a headache.

After rinsing out the shampoo, Germany reached for the soap. Rubbing it between his hands, he soon had a good lather going. He smoothed the suds down each muscular arm. His pecs were next, and his tight, washboard abs soon followed, his hands going lower and lower. Skipping his penis, Germany proceeded to wash the rest of himself. Once everything else was clean, he lathered up his hands again and soaped his cock. He stroked what he affectionately referred to, but only to himself, as his little sausage.

Picturing scantily clad fräuleins with short auburn hair in his head, Germany felt himself growing harder. He moaned softly; this was another bit of tension that needed to be relieved, but with Italy sharing his bed last night, Germany was unable to indulge in playing with himself while perusing the dirty magazines Italy gave him for Christmas. He stroked his rock hard length, muttering just under his breath in German all the things he wanted to do to the pretty fräuleins if he was not saving himself for the love of his life, when the door to the bathroom was flung open, hitting the wall with a loud bang. What the hell?!

“Germany!” Italy trilled. “I made some canolis! Wanna eat?”

Germany turned around, heedless of his nudity. “Really you!” he shouted, annoyed at being disturbed. “In the shower?! Don’t just come in here like you…” he trailed off as Italy was staring at his sausage. “Italy…?”

Italy slowly tore his gaze away from Germany’s cock. He let his eyes linger a minute too long on Germany’s wet, soapy body as he reluctantly looked upwards to look him in the eye. He blinked. Mama mia! He’s big down there like he is everywhere else! And I… poor little Italy… I’m so… so… small! He felt his eyes welling up with tears.

“Italy…? Are you alright?” Germany blinked. His little buddy was upset and he was at a complete loss as to why. So it was the first time Italy saw him naked, they were both men, so that couldn’t be it.

“Aren’t mine and yours different… somehow…?” Italy murmured. He had had his share of erections in his life, but they were never that big… or beautiful to behold. A single tear coursed down his cheek. “Look…” he said softly as he dropped his drawers and invited his friend to take a peek.

Germany sighed and took a good look at Italy’s little noodle. So it was not as big as his sausage, but it was just right in proportion to Italy’s slender build. “Ah… about that… uh…”


Germany beckoned his little buddy forward, and leaning out of the shower, he whispered in Italy’s ear. I can’t believe I’m doing this… “Italy, men come in all sizes, some big, some small, some fat, some thin. And when they’re….” he struggled to put it delicately, “hard… they all tend to even out in the end… And uh… one’s size has no bearing on one’s skill as a lover and uh… some sausages have a little extra casing, especially when they’re young and tender and ummm…”

Italy burst into to tears.

“From here on it might change, you never know, right, Italy?” Germany smiled. “Hold it! Don’t be so hasty, Italy!!” he called out as Italy ran from the bathroom. He sighed. He would have to make it up to him somehow; still he knew the little guy would be okay once he calmed down. Getting back under the water, Germany rinsed off. So much for relieving my tension…


the Duchess of Crack! and the Queen of Fluff

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