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Title: Kiss the Cook
Characters: France, England
Challenge: Holiday Winter Challenge - 31 Fics in 31 Days (Dear)
Rating: OT
Summary: France gives England some cooking lessons
Author’s note: Also written for Hentai Contest’s Hentai Holidays
Word Count: 666

For Kat…

On the seventh day of Hentai Holidays my true love gave to me, some cooking lessons…

France puttered around his kitchen; dressed in the “Kiss the Cook” apron he got from Prussia and nothing else, while England stood there, grumbling about the frilly apron he was wearing. France had to admit, the bottle of wine really did the trick, even if he did have to supplement it with a couple of bottles from his own private stock. England was just as naked as he was and he was actually into having a cooking lesson, provided they start with something simple. What could be simpler than a beef stew, France thought. It was the perfect dish for what he had in mind, since it could sit on the stove unattended, while they did some cooking of different sort in France’s bedroom.

Standing behind England, France wrapped his arms around him. “Now you carefully chop the carrots like this….” he purred as he guided England’s hand on the knife. “Tuck you finger in… that’s right… now, slowly push it… oui, oui!”

England looked over his shoulder at him, his expression darkening. “You’re a bloody sick pervert, you know that?”

“Mon cher, I’m hurt!”

“Then watch what you’re making me do with the knife, you bloody half-wit!”

France laughed.


“I’m beginning to think you’re like Romano and all your silly insults are just your way of saying you love me.”


“Unh, unh, unh!” France grinned as he wagged his finger at his friend.”You know it’s true, mon cher!”

England sputtered helplessly.

“I know!” France beamed at his friend.

“Now what?” England was afraid to know.

“Why don’t we forget the beef stew and go have a lil fun, eh?”

England blinked. “Pardon me?”

“My dear, England,” France said, knowing the English words would get his friend’s attention, “let’s leave this mess… and go up to my room for a… how do you say? Shag?”

England turned beet red as he sputtered wordlessly.

“Come on, mon cher, you know you want it… and what better way to learn about cooking, than to learn about amour first?” France lightly brushed his lips against England’s cheek. He slid his hand down off his friend’s arm to cup his butt cheek. “You lips… they try to say ‘no,’ but your eyes, so full of passion-”

England finally found his voice as he whirled around to face him. “Well you’re just full of porkies, you bloody daft booger!”

France chuckled. “You really are just like Romano! Trust me, there’s nothing bad about loving someone and making sweet passionate love to them, mon cher!”

England rolled his eyes. “It that all you think about? Crikey Moses, I’ve never met anyone as randy as you are! Seriously!? What’s wrong with just being friends with someone?”

“Nothing, but it’s so much better to be friends and lovers.”

England let out a long suffering sigh.

“I promise to be gentle…” France wheedled.

“You’re not going to stop unless I agree to this, are you?”


“You’re a persistent bugger, you know that.”

“Only because you need some love in your life, mon ami,” France said. He cupped his friend’s cheeks in his hands and leaned in to kiss him. It was a soft, chaste kiss at first, and when England warmed up to things, France deepened it. Little by little he wore down England’s defenses, by keeping it light.

“Allensy, or how however the hell you say it!”

“Allons-y,” France corrected. “Where do you want to go?”

“To… to your room,” England mumbled, his embarrassment getting the better of him.

“I thought you’d never ask,” France said as he slung his arm around his friend. “Let’s see if you cook better in the boudoir than you do in the kitchen,” he teased.

England snorted in reply. He grabbed the wine bottle on the way out of the kitchen.

“What’s that for?”

“Don’t you always tell me things taste better with wine?”

“Oooh lala… But of course!”


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 29th, 2012 12:33 pm (UTC)
Ohohoho... the plot and characterization suit them perfectly.
Dec. 29th, 2012 06:20 pm (UTC)
blushes* thanks! :D
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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