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Cross-posted from Hetachallenge

Title:Nothing Happened, I Swear!
Author: kira
Claim: Prussia
Character(s): Prussia, Frederick II
Table/Prompt: Angst/ Prompt # 18: Drunk
Word Count: 666
Rating: M
Summary: Prussia & Frederick wake up naked and in bed after a night of hard drinking...
Author’s note: Thanks go out to my beta, Jen, for looking this over.

“Nothing happened, I swear, Fritz!” Prussia said when his beloved glared at him. “We were both drunk last night and how we managed to stumble in here without killing ourselves is amazing!”

“Gilbert, please don’t shout.” Frederick sighed. “While I’m inclined to believe you about getting drunk as I have the headache to prove it, it doesn’t explain why we ended up naked in bed.”

“Sorry, Fritz,” Prussia said softly as he got out of bed. “Since I woke up before you, I was going to see what they have for breakfast, that’s if I can find my clothes.” He walked over to the washbasin, poured a bit of cool water from the pitcher next to it in his hand and drank it. He repeated it a few times, before pouring some water in the basin and splashing it one his face. “You want some water?”

Frederick nodded. “You still haven’t explained why we’re naked,” he said dryly.

“I know why I can’t find my clothes!” Prussia grinned. “You got sick all over us and the guy, that helped me carry you up here, took them to be cleaned.”

Frederick sighed. “You know it’s going to be awhile before we get them back, Gilbert.”

“Oh…” Prussia padded over to the door and opened it, heedless of Frederick’s protests. Spotting a maid in the hallway, he called her over to him.

“Morning, Milord. Fancying a bit of something besides buggery, hunh?” she said saucily.

Prussia blushed, and moved to cover himself with the door. “Uh, no… But I was wondering if you could bring us something simple to eat for breakfast and pitcher of water. Please?”

“Of course and if Milord fancies some pussy, I could use a bit of extra coin.”

“He doesn’t” Frederick called out. When the girl left and Prussia closed the door, he said, “What is it with you and the ladies, Gilbert?”

“Jealous, Your Highness?” Prussia smirked.

Frederick threw a pillow at him in reply. “Seriously, we need to find some clothes, or they’re going to think we’re a couple of debauched buggers.”

Prussia laughed. “We are a couple of buggers, not so sure about the debauched part, then again, you were very amorous last night…” he grinned, “Until your head hit the pillow.”

Frederick made a little sound of disgust.

“Seriously, Fritz, we were willing, but aside from a few sloppy kisses, you were asleep before I blew out the candle.”

“Then why is my…” Frederick blushed.

“Your arse is sore from riding all day and sitting on that hard bench by the fire until we dragged our sorry arses up here for the night. To be honest with you, mine is too, and for the same reasons.”

When the girl returned with their breakfast, she knocked on the door. Prussia scurried over to grab a pillow to fig leaf himself with. “Enter.”

She brought in a tray laden with bread and jams, and a pitch of water, which she set down on the table in the far corner. Loosening the ties on her bodice, she exposed her ample bosom as she came over to them and lifted her skirts, giving them an eyeful.

“Uh, maybe later, Fräulein?” Prussia, feeling his cheeks heating up, dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

Giggling as she dropped her skirts, the girl quickly fixed her clothing. “If you say so, Milord,” she said as she left.

“You do realize, Gilbert, that within minutes, everyone is going to know that we’re a couple of buggers.”

“Not if we invite her back after breakfast for a tumble in the sheets.”

“And what if we catch something?”

“It won’t be the first time, nor will it be the last.”

“Don’t be disgusting!”

“Can’t help it, Fritz.”

Prussia got up and brought the tray over to the bed, where they ate, while trying to figure out how to get the clothes back. Until then, they were determined to forget about last night and make the best of things.


the Duchess of Crack! and the Queen of Fluff

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