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Cross-posted from Hentai Contest

Title: I Have A Dream
Author: Kat & kira
Character(s): Gilbert Beilschmidt (Prussia), Dr. Elizabeta Héderváry (Hungary)
Genres: AU, Doctor/Patient attraction, Humor
Warnings: We’ll say… no
Word Count: 1454
Summary: Gilbert Beilschmidt is at his therapist, Dr. Elizabeta Héderváry’s relating his latest erotic dream. Who’s more turned on, him or her?
Auhtor’s note: Thanks for pinking, Jen! <3

Gilbert Beilschmidt lay on the couch in his therapist’s office. He had that dream again and he was dying to tell the doctor about it, but first he had to get all the other bullshit out of the way. “Yes, I’ve been sleeping well lately. In fact, I can’t wait to get some sleep!” He looked over at her, grinning from ear to ear.

Dr. Elizabeta Héderváry looked up from her notes. “Really?” she said softly as she focused her attention on her patient. “Are you having those dreams about your sister again?”

He nodded.

“I see…” She jotted down a few notes. Dr. Héderváry was a bit worried about her patient. He was clearly disturbed, even while on his medication, but he was also not a danger to himself or others. Looking up at Gilbert again, she said, “Tell me about it.”

“Like I’ve told you before, Monika is my sister and she’s tall and blonde and has these really huge boobs! They’re like natural Ks! And perky too! And bouncy and you just want to bury your face in them and just breathe in the warm, milky goodness.” He sighed dreamily, effectively ending the childish squirming that accompanied this enthusiastic explanation.

“I thought you said they were double Ds?” Dr. Héderváry said as she flipped through her notes.

“Sometimes they are, but when they’re full of milk, they get really big!” Gilbert’s hand gestures exaggerated his point.


“Yeah and… ummm.” Gilbert felt his cheeks heating up. Ignoring it, he continued, “And she’s got a penis.”

Elizabeta frowned. That was a new one… “A penis?”

Gilbert nodded. “Yeah, it’s nothing big; it’s only four inches or so.”

“Okay.” She continued taking notes. “Go on, Gilbert.”

“Anyway, besides a penis, she’s got a pussy, I mean, a vagina,” he self-corrected, ducking his head slightly like a naughty school boy.

Elizabeta looked at him, a tight little smile on her lips. “You can say ‘pussy,’ Gilbert, if you feel more comfortable.” I know it’s bad, but I can’t help feeling like you want to talk to dirty to me and, well, I kinda like that… She tucked a loose strand of light brown hair behind her ear.

“Uh, sure, okay. Anyway, Monika’s got a nice rack, a tight pussy, and a penis, but she doesn’t have any balls, so I guess that still makes her a girl, right?”

She nodded and noted that he looked relieved. You’re having weird sexual fantasies about your sister and your only worry is that you might have hidden homosexual tendencies? Oh, Gilbert, you’re going to be in therapy for a long, long, long time…

“I told you about her self-lubricating ass? And my fifteen inch penis that I can make hard any time I want? And that I can cum and cum and cum and it still stays hard?” He turned his head slightly to look at her and make sure she had been paying attention.

“You did, Gilbert.” Elizabeta looked down at her notebook and flipped through it. “That was last week and the week before it.”

He grinned. “Well, last night in my dream, Monika’s boobs were getting bigger. Like so big, they covered her baby bump, which is quite a feat as they were just as perky and bouncy as ever.”

“She’s pregnant?” Another new twist.

“Yeah. And her boobs were leaking milk, so I suckled from them and Monika, came, er, had an orgasm, so we had to have sex. That’s pretty much all we do, is eat, sleep, and have sex.” He looked excited and very pleased with himself.

“How does… Monika feel about that?”

“Monika loves it, Dr. Héderváry! And if Monika wants it, then Monika gets it, cuz nothing is too good for her! If she wants to have sex all day long, we have sex all day long!” Gilbert sat up on the sofa and ran his fingers through his messy white hair. He was getting agitated again; talking about his dream was making him hard, and the fact that he found his doctor attractive did not help.

Elizabeta crossed her legs. It was always so difficult, dealing with Gilbert Beilschmidt, as everything seemed to revolve around sex and there were times during their sessions, where she felt the urge to excuse herself to go to the ladies’ room to “take care of business”, but it was unprofessional, so she stayed put and tried to think of other things. She looked at her notes.

Monika was his latest “obsession” in a long string of them. Last month, it was his friend Francis, who liked to run around naked. There had been quite a few erotic dreams involved there too, mostly featuring oversized toys and careful worship of the other man’s skin, on top of the increasingly obsessive and volatile scheming to get Francis naked even more often in the waking world. The time before that, he spent several months trying to come to terms with the feelings he had for his neighbor’s little sister, Lilli. Elizabeta was sure at the time he was a hebephile, as the girl had only been fourteen, but it seemed to have been an isolated obsession, not a pattern. And during all of that, he had become enamored with birds. It was the closest he had come to something “normal,” especially when he went on to describe a particular dream he had had about being this little yellow bird and how he liked to sit on Lilli’s chest, and rub his tail feathers on her bare breasts. She mentally shook her head while she waited patiently for him to continue.

“I should go, Dr. Héderváry!” Gilbert stood up. His hand strayed to his crotch in a vain attempt at diverting attention away from the bulge in his pants.

“You still have time, Gilbert,” Elizabeta insisted. There really was no point in him trying to hide his arousal, and besides his obvious need for therapy, she wanted to hear more.

“I know, but I have to go!”

“If you need to use the restroom, you can.”

Gilbert turned beet red. “No, it’s okay.” He sat there, squirming in place like a hyperactive five year old.

“It’s a normal reaction to talking about sex, Gilbert. I get aroused too.”


Elizabeta smiled. “Yes…”

“You ever have fantasies about me?’

She gave him her best blank stare. “I’m your doctor, Gilbert, and it would be highly unprofessional of me to do so.”

He laughed. “You sound like my friend, Roddy. You know, he’s got the world’s biggest stick up his ass.” Gilbert grinned wickedly at her.

“You know my ex-husband?” she could not help blurting out.

“Jewish, about my height, dark hair, light eyes, Marilyn Monroe type mole by his mouth?” Gilbert blinked. Is that why you insisted I go see her, Roddy, instead of that other doctor I wanted to go to? “Shit! Maybe I should go… ummm, Doc? Is there someone else, you can recommend?” he asked, despite dreading the thought of starting all over again with another therapist.

Elizabeta had to think about this. The association itself, as long she maintained confidentiality, wasn’t truly a problem. She didn’t discuss her patients with her ex during their lunches together and she had a feeling Roderich knew all about Gilbert’s problems already, maybe even more than she did. She could also see the fear and dread written all over Gilbert’s face. Starting over would be very difficult for him. He didn’t trust easily and the slightest miswording of something could send him into a deep tailspin. It would be best for him to keep seeing her. She tried to convince herself that the decision had nothing to do with her selfish desires to continue hearing about his obsessions and enjoying his sexual deviancies through him, and that her reasoning was purely professional. “Gilbert, it’s alright. Please sit down.” She gestured with her hand and spoke softly like she was trying to coax a stray dog into her car, “Remember when I told you that I can’t talk about what happens in here to anyone else, unless I know you are going to hurt yourself or someone else?”

Reluctantly, he sat back down, fidgeting nervously. “Yeah.” He scratched the back of his head.

“That’s all still true. Nothing’s changed.”


“Yes. So, unless you want to start seeing someone else, there’s no reason for you to stop coming here.” She hoped he wouldn’t leave.

“Really?” Gilbert grinned. His mood brightened considerably.

“Really.” She smiled.

He made himself comfortable again. “I’ve also been having this other dream about a horse.”

“Go on.” Elizabeta hid a small smile, confident that she’d be seeing Gilbert for a long, long, long time.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2014 02:22 am (UTC)
Wow. I mean - yeah. Wow. Weird and dirty and very fetish!


Sep. 10th, 2014 07:57 pm (UTC)
Thanks! This was a hard one & I'm glad we delivered! :D
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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