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Title: A Tale of Two Princesses
Recipient: Kali
Type of gift: Fic
Rating: G
Author: kira
Chars/Pairs: Princess Jadzia (fem!Poland), Princess Milda (fem!Lithuania), Prince Feliks (Poland), Prince Toris (Lithuania), Fairy Prince Gilbert (Prussia), Fairy Princess Julchen (fem!Prussia), Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons (Hungary), Daniel the Queen of the Amazon’s brother (boy!Hungary), Wicked Fairy Roderich (Austria), Little Golden Bird/Duke (HRE), Cat (Chibitalia), Ice Troll and his sister (Switzerland & Lichtenstein)
Genres: Fractured Fairytale
Warnings: Human names used
Word Count: 2451
Summary: Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived two Princesses…
Author’s notes: Thanks to my beta, Jen, for reading this over for me
Author’s notes 2: Since some of the characters don’t have official human names, I either went with what is common in the fandom, or made up my own. Please note that Jadzia is real Polish girl’s name & Milda is real Lithuanian girl’s name.

For Kali … Happy Holidays!

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived two Princesses. Both were beautiful to behold, with skin like moonlight, cheeks like roses, lips like cherries. The older of the two had hair like roasted chestnuts, while the younger’s hair was like honey. According to the younger, whose name was Jadzia, it was a boring life, where nothing special ever happened. Her older sister Milda was happy with the way things were. They could go riding in peace, and practice their swordsmanship. Their father the king was without sons, so he raised his daughters to be as independent as possible.

To the north of their kingdom was another and that king had two sons, Prince Feliks and Prince Toris, who were to marry the princesses of the southern kingdom when they became of age. Like the princesses to the south, they were both fair and dark, and if one were to ask the Queen of the Fairies, she would say they were meant for each other. She should know; she had blessed their betrothal, all those years ago when they all were just babies.

To the west lay the kingdom of the Amazons, who bred the fastest horses in the land, and to the east lay the kingdom of the Fairies. The eldest of their children was very much in love with the Queen of the Amazons to the point of annoying her, rather than inspiring any sense of love, so that Lizzie, the Queen of the Amazons paid a wicked Fairy to put a curse on him.

Now the Wicked Fairy Roderich was only too delighted to get rid of his rival for the Queen of the Amazons’ affections and with a wave of his hand, he turn the hapless Fairy Prince into a Dragon. Unfortunately, the Prince’s sister was arguing with him at the time and she too was turned into one. The pair of flew off, setting up a kingdom of their own in the mountains that bordered their land and that of the Princesses’.

One would think that that would be the end of things, with the Queen of the Amazons ridding herself of a pest, the wicked Fairy free to woo the Queen, and the Princes and the Princesses planning their weddings and everyone would live happily ever after. And that was true for awhile, until the Dragons decided to do what Dragons do best; capture Princesses and eat them.

It was on a sunny day when Gilbert the Dragon decided he needed a Princess or two to munch on. He took to the sky and headed over to the neighboring kingdom, where it just so happened that the two Princesses lived. He circled a large meadow, looking for them, when as luck would have it, he found not two, but four Princesses having a picnic! He could not believe his luck, and swooping in, he snagged the one in the pink armor. It just so happened that his sister, Julchen the Dragon, was trailing after him and in the confusion, she snagged herself one as well. Princesses in claws, the dragons flew back to the lair in the mountains. Setting down them down, the two Dragons congratulated themselves on a job well done.

Julchen the Dragon picked up her Princess, who looked fabulous in her dark green armor and neatly popped her into her mouth. Luckily for the Princess, she quickly spat her out. “Blech! That’s not a Princess!! You idiot,” she turned to her brother, “These aren’t Princesses!!” Annoyed, tendrils of black smoke floated up out her nostrils.

Gilbert the Dragon laughed, sending great puffs of smoke out of his mouth. “They are too Princesses!!” He popped his in his mouth, only to spit the Princess out as well. “What the?!” He glared at his “Princess”, who smiled up at him.

Prince Feliks flipped his hair back. “Like what?” He rolled his eyes and made a face.

“You’re not a Princess!!”

“And like what’s your point?”

“I can’t eat you.” Gilbert the Dragon pouted. “You taste icky.”

“Like totally, Dude. I’m a Prince.” Prince Feliks flipped his hair again with a saucy grin.

Meanwhile, Julchen the Dragon was eyeing her “Princess”. She sniffed at him, blowing smoke in his face. “Don’t tell me you’re a Prince too.”

“I’m sorry,” Prince Toris said. “I can’t help it if I’m a Prince.”

Julchen the Dragon grumbled, “Stupid brother, can’t tell a Prince from a Princess.” Annoyed, she snatched both Princes and locked them in a gilded cage. “You stay put until we decide what to do with you!” She stomped over to her brother, complaining all the while about how hungry she was.

Gilbert the Dragon, in his defense, had made an honest mistake since his Prince was wearing pink armor. When he pointed that out, it only made his sister crankier. Throwing his Dragon claws in the air, he stomped off after her as they decided what to do.

While the Dragons were off arguing about dinner, the two Princes discovered they were not alone in the cage. There, sitting at the top of the cage was a little golden bird. It chirped happily at them, delighted to finally have company. Prince Feliks was happy to make its acquaintance; Prince Toris on the other hand, lamented ever seeing his beloved Princess Jadzia ever again.

And while the two Princes tried to make the best of their uncertain situation, Princess Milda and Princess Jadzia wasted no time in making preparations for getting their Princes back. Picking up their swords, Princess Milda started formulating a plan in her head, while he sister whistled for their ponies. Since they were gifts from Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons, the ponies could run like the wind and they were there in the blink of an eye. They mounted their ponies and rode for the castle. Once there, they changed into their armor and got back on their ponies and headed off in the direction the Dragons had taken.

A few minutes later, they were outside the Dragon’s lair. Dismounting their ponies, the Princesses let them loose. Swords in hand, they boldly rushed inside and were greeted by Julchen the Dragon. She sniffed in their direction, before reaching out and grabbing the nearest Princess. “What do we have here?”

“A duck!” Princess Jadzia called out.

“I’m not a duck!” her sister said. “Will you stop squeezing me?” Princess Milda glared up at the Dragon.

Julchen the Dragon snorted, spewing long tendrils of smoke through her nostrils. She squeezed her captive a bit harder. “You look like a tasty lil duckie,” she purred.

“I’m not a duckie!”

“But you look like a duckie,” she sniffed her, “smell like a duckie, and I bet you quack like one too!” Julchen the Dragon squeezed her.

Princess Milda yelped.

“Whatchya got there?” Gilbert the Dragon asked when he woke up from his nap.

“I got a duckie!! I’m going to put it in the cage with the nasty little Princes. I think I’ll eat it later.” She stuffed Princess Milda in the cage.

Gilbert the Dragon eyed Princess Milda. “It doesn’t look like a duckie. It looks more like a nasty old Prince.” He made a face. “I mean look at it. It’s crunchy like a bug on the outside, just like they are.” He poked a claw in the cage.

“Idiot…” Princess Milda mumbled softly. “And watch where you’re sticking that thing!” She smacked his claw as she glared at him.

Gilbert the Dragon was so taken aback by that, that he pulled away as if stung. Leaning in, he cocked his head to the side and glared at her, his crimson eyes blazing. Whatever it was; and he had his doubts it was a duckie, it was feisty. That got him thinking about Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons. He let out a little Dragon sigh, wrapped in a puff of smoke. Giving their captives one last glare for good measure, Gilbert the Dragon stalked off to go argue with his sister over what they were going to do with them.

“The way to defeat them and get out of here alive; is to give them a kiss from their one true love,” a little voice from above told them.

Everyone in the cage looked up. There, looking like liquid sunshine, was a little golden bird. “Who are you?” Princess Milda said.

“I’m a friend of Prince Gilbert’s,” the little bird replied. “But now’s not the time for introductions; you must hurry before it’s too late!”

“Be that as it may, we have no idea who their true loves are,” Prince Toris said.

“Like totally. So unless you’ve like have a key hidden in a pocket somewhere, we’re like doomed,” Prince Feliks said.

“You’re so not helping!” Princess Milda snapped. Turning her attention back to the bird, she said, “You know, don’t you.”

“Lizzie, the Queen of the Amazons,” the little bird said. “I must go! Good luck!”

“Thanks!” Princess Milda said as she watched him fly off.

“What do we do now? There’s no way we can reach her,” Prince Toris said.

“Yes, there is! Jadzia!!” Princess Milda said.

“What?” Jadzia hurried over to the cage and looked up at it.

Princess Milda looked down as best she could at her sister and said, “Go find the Queen of the Amazons!”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine!”

“You sure?”

“Yeah! Now hurry!”

And with that, Princess Jadzia hurried out of the Dragons’ lair. Since they thought she was a Prince, they paid her no mind and she easily escaped. Whistling for her pony, Princess Jadzia rode like the wind and it was not long, before she found the Queen. She dismounted and as she rushed towards Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons, the little yellow bird, who tried to help her sister, flew in front of her.

“Wait!” he chirped.

“I can’t I have to help my sister and she told me to get the Queen.” Jadzia tried to push past him, but the little bird kept flying in front of her. She stopped and stamped her foot. “Out of my way!”

“Listen to me! The Queen will help you, but first you must break the spell she’s under.”

“How do I do that?”

“You need to get her away from Roderich the Wicked Fairy.”

“Okay,” Princess Jadzia said, “But how?” Her pony whinnied at her and Princess Jadzia turned to look at him. She smiled. “You can help?”

The pony tossed his head.

“Then do it!” Princess Jadzia cried and the pony took off. She watched him gallop straight towards where the Queen and the wicked Fairy were having tea. To the Princess’ amazement, her pony bit the wicked Fairy in the arm. The Wicked Fairy Roderich somehow managed to free himself with the help of Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons, but before she had a chance to tend to his wound, the pony kicked the Wicked Fairy Roderich so hard, he flew through the air and landed in the Icy Mountains, where he spent the rest of his days with an Ice Troll and his little sister.

Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons shook her head to clear it. “What…?”

“Come, my Queen!” Princess Jadzia said as she mounted her pony. “I’ll explain on the way!”

The Queen blinked as if she was waking up from a long sleep, her head finally clear of the spell she was under. “Yes!” she said, and whistling for a pony, she mounted it and the two of them galloped off while Princess Jadzia explained what was going on. They rode like the wind and before anyone knew it, they were back at the Dragon’s lair.

“Oh good!” the little golden bird chirped. “You must hurry!”

They ran inside, but they were almost too late. Gilbert the Dragon held Prince Toris in his claws. He decided to eat him, despite how icky he tasted, since he was hungry and there seemed to be a shortage of Princesses in the land. Just as he was about to pop Prince Toris in his mouth, Princess Jadzia screamed.


Startled, Gilbert the Dragon promptly dropped the Prince. “What is with you Princes?!”

“Nothing…” Princess Jadzia said as she kissed her Prince.

Lizzie Queen of the Amazons said, “Take him and go! I’ve got this!” She looked at Gilbert the Dragon. “Hey, Sweetie, give us a kiss!” The Queen puckered up and made kissy noses.

Something snapped in Gilbert the Dragon’s head and he leaned in to give the gentlest Dragon kiss he could muster. There was a puff of pink smoke and the next thing Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons knew, she was kissing Fairy Prince Gilbert.

“Awesomeness!” he cried when he realized the spell was broken. He kissed her again for good measure.

Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons broke the kiss, and pulling away from him, she said, “Try that again and I’ll-” The rest of her words were followed by kiss from her one true love and a whack to his head.

“Hey! What about me?” Julchen the Dragon sniffed, where upon Jadzia’s pony trotted up to her. “Daniel?”

The pony whinnied at her and in the strangest thing anyone in all the kingdoms had seen, the Dragon kissed the pony. A puff of Pink smoke later and there was Fairy Princess Julchen kissing Daniel the Queen of the Amazon’s brother like there was no tomorrow while everyone cheered.

Princess Milda looked at Prince Feliks and smiled.

“Like aren’t you gonna kiss-” he started and she finished with a kiss. They were able to get in several more kisses, before everyone realized they were still in the cage. The Prince and Princess were soon freed.

A great big wedding was held the next day. Everyone in the various kingdoms was invited. The celebrations lasted a week. When they were over, Lizzie the Queen of the Amazons rode off into the sunset with her Fairy Prince Gilbert to rule over the Amazons. Fairy Princess Julchen flew back to her forest kingdom, where her husband Daniel, eventually ruled over the Fairy kingdom. Princess Milda left the next morning with her husband Prince Feliks, heading home to their neighboring kingdom, while Princess Jadzia remained behind to rule her kingdom with her husband Prince Toris. And what of the little yellow bird, you ask? Well he found true love with a little cat. Taking pity on them, Fairy Prince Gilbert worked his magic, turning him into a handsome Duke and the cat into a beautiful Duchess, but that’s another story… for now, let’s just say, “And they all lived happily ever after!”


the Duchess of Crack! and the Queen of Fluff

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