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Cross posted from Madrona Project

Title: The Tale of the Manly Talk
Author: kira
Word Count: 944
World: The Wildes
Main Characters: Soaring Eagle, Black Dog, Rabbit, Little Hawk, & Fierce like Panther
Borrow: No
Summary: Soaring Eagle gives the Talk to a group of young boys…
Author’s notes: This was written for May’s Merry Month of Masturbation, using an old Bingo! Card from DW’s allbingo combined with a few of my own prompts to make a table.
Special Thanks to Kat for letting me borrow Black Dog, Rabbit, Little Hawk, & Fierce like Panther, as well as pinking this fic.
Please note this takes place before The Tale of the Spice Merchants and the Elf.

After much thought and self deliberation, Soaring Eagle decided he needed to address the tribe’s young men, namely the boys younger than his fifteen summers and give them the “facts” about what it’s like to be a “man.” So he made a point of rounding up anyone he could find that was roughly twelve to fourteen summers.

Black Dog, catching wind of it, came along to hear what the idiot had to say as it promised to be quite the spectacle. Even though he was the same age as Soaring Eagle, he considered himself much more mature for his age. Plus, the moron had such a bizarre way of seeing things that it was always amusing to hear him speak, never mind the fact that mocking him had a way of upping his craziness. Finding a fallen log to sit on, he gently herded Soaring Eagle and his ragtag bunch of boys towards it. After making himself comfortable, he nodded towards him to begin.

Soaring Eagle drew himself up to his full height. Small and scrawny, his pale skin one big mud-streaked sunburned mess of peeling skin, he scratched at it and cleared his throat. “Okay, men,” he said as he began pacing back and forth in front of the group of young men.

Black Dog half coughed, half snorted in amusement. This ought to be good…

Pausing in front of them, Soaring Eagle held their gaze as he looked at each one in turn. He noted some were pimply faced, some had downy beards much to his chagrin, being unable to grow even a stray mustache hair, while some smelled ripe when the wind blew his way, and some built like the men they were destined to be. All shared one thing; acute embarrassment, except for one, who was there to see the village idiot, and who calmly stared back at him.

“Some of you,” Soaring Eagle continued, “may have noticed a few spots on your faces, others their voices cracking at the strangest times, and some of you even have hair growing in places it never did before.” He winked and paused to let it all sink in, completely ignoring his audience’s discomfiture. “Anyways… Some of you, or all off you, may have noticed girls, or boys for that matter, seeing them in a new light.” He leered at the boys, loving how everyone’s cheek burned with embarrassment, except for the strange kid, who just rolled his eyes at him. “And that brings me to my point.”

“Do tell,” Black Dog called out from where he sat, watching and listening.

Soaring Eagle glanced over his shoulder at him and grinned. “I will!” Taking a deep breath, he proceeded to tell them what it was like to be a “man.”

Rabbit stood there, wild eyed and embarrassed. At roughly Soaring Eagle’s age, he already knew what it was like to be a man and very few of the things the idiot was babbling about had happened to him. Plus he had had enough humiliating talks with Black Dog, not to mention seeing things firsthand, to know half the stuff Soaring Eagle was spouting was pure shit. He shuddered to think what was going through Fierce like Panther’s head, despite the girl looking mildly curious and totally unaffected by Soaring Eagle’s speech.

Fierce like Panther could barely contain her boredom. This was the big manly talk the young men in the tribe were looking forward to? She rolled eyes as it just confirmed what she thought; guys were all basically idiots, with Soaring Eagle being the biggest one. She was about to walk away, when something he said caught her attention.

“… Wet dreams…” Soaring Eagle grinned. “You know what I’m talking about too. It happens to us all and it a sign of becoming a man. It means your cocks are working and you’ll be able to father children, Right, Black Dog?”

“If you say so…” Black Dog took out his pipe, filled it with tobacco, and lit it. He inhaled too deeply and coughed, the tobacco irritating his lungs. “Carry on.” He waved his pipe at him.

“Anyways… if you don’t do it enough, cuz maybe you can’t find anyone willing to mess around with you,” Soaring Eagle said. “You need to uh… do it yourself, or your body will do it for you…” he trailed off, wilting somewhat under the intense, yet, embarrassed stares. “So umm…” He made a fist and pumped the air near his groin. “Just use your hand, men! And maybe touch your balls and think about that special someone!” He winked at Rabbit.

“That’s it?” Little Hawk whispered to Rabbit. “Didn’t Black Dog tell us to do that the other day?”

Rabbit nodded.

Fierce like Panther made a face. “You guys are idiots, if you needed a bigger idiot to tell you to go play with yourselves.” She rolled her eyes. Walking over to her brother, she punched him in the arm. “Don’t you dare do that when I’m around!” She punched Rabbit too. “And you too!” Scowling as she walked past Black Dog, who sat there, smoking and chuckling to himself, she said, “And don’t you dare encourage them!” She stomped off, heading for home.

“Well, that’s it, men!” Soaring Eagle concluded. He grinned as they wandered off, his happiness at a job well done fading when he noticed Rabbit leaving with Little Hawk and Black Dog. He sighed softly. He wondered what Rabbit would think, if he knew Soaring Eagle spent many a lonely night in his lodge, thinking about him while he played with himself, never mind being the star of numerous wet dreams.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 26th, 2016 04:57 am (UTC)
Lord help the partners of these boys. I'm glad Rabbit has an admirer but I hope Soaring Eagle learns some things before making his move.
Nov. 26th, 2016 08:34 pm (UTC)
I know, right? XD

Yeah, but I wouldn't hold my breath about it. Soaring Eagle isn't the brightest star in the night sky. XD
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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