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Winterfest in July Bingo 2

Title: Hanukah 101
Prompt: Hanukah
Fandom: original
Characters: Bernd, Mishka
Word count: 1040
Rating: G
Summary: Mishka explains Hanukah to Bernd after the holidays are over…
Genre: slice of life
Author’s notes: Thanks go out to my beta, Kat, for pinking this for me.

Now that Hanukah was over and Christmas too, Mishka decided the time had come to sit Bernd down and give him what they referred to as “Hanukah 101.” While his attempt at cramming in everything he could think of was touching, she did not think she could go through another Hanukah like that one again. To say it was eight crazy nights was an understatement. So she went in search of her girlfriend’s husband and found him sitting in his room, watching the Hanukah episode of “Bubbe’s Boarding House” that he had amazingly found in the library.

“Hey, Bernd?” she said as she knocked. “Can I come in?”

He paused the DVD. “Sure. What’s up?”

“I thought since Hanukah and Christmas are over, we could sit down and I can give you ‘Hanukah 101.’” Minky came over and sat next to him on the bed.

Bernd blushed. “Oh… Sorry, if I got things wrong.”

“You didn’t get too many things wrong, and besides, it’s not like you’re Jewish, so how would you know?”

“Yeah… But I did have the internet.” Bernd gave her a look that was part smirk and boyish charm, and part contrite.

“I know, and I’m actually surprised you didn’t find any Hanukah porn,” she teased. Mishka held up her hand. “That doesn’t mean you should look for some. Anyway, let’s start with your sweater. While, I get the idea that it’s supposed to be the Jewish version of an ugly Christmas sweater, and you’d better wear it next year too, it’s…” she paused as she tried to find the words and fidgeted in her seat. “Ummm… well, it’s obviously designed by a non Jew. I hate to break it to you, but Mazel Tov is how you say congrats in Hebrew and Yiddish.”

Bernd’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

She nodded. “Which makes it kind of weird…” She smirked. “But then again, that makes it so you.”

He laughed with her. “Yeah.”

“And it doesn’t clash with your hair either,” she reached patted him on the head, more comfortable with him now than she had been a few months ago, “but we’re getting sidetracked.”

“Yeah.” Bernd looked at her with rapt attention.

“And while the Star-of-Davids are nice and they kind of look snowflakey, which is cute I guess, they’re not really a Hanukah thing, just so you know. It’s the symbol for the Jewish people, which I think is why it’s on Israel’s flag. But I like it, and I love the sweater you got me too,” she added at the end to make sure he knew she was not trying to hurt his feelings.

“Thanks. I’m glad you do.” He grinned at her.

“Okay, so the latkes were pretty good.”


Mishka nodded. “They taste like my Bubbe’s. Your father’s a good cook.”

Bernd blushed.

“What?” Mishka frowned.

“I got Amber to call your mom for the recipe.”

“You did? She did?” Mishka blinked in mild shock as Amber was not her mother’s favorite person. The fact they she was able to get the recipe from her was even more shocking.

“And we called her the next day to wish her a happy Hanukah and to tell her how good they came out… Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. My mother didn’t ask you why I didn’t come home?” Not that she had gone home for Hanukah in a very long time, but her mother still asked just the same.

“No, she was happy you had somewhere to spend the holiday for a change.” Bernd looked away and back. “I’m not sure, but I think she thinks we’re Jewish.” He grinned. “I know she thinks we’re Polish and German on my Oma’s side.”

“Oh… That explains a lot,” Mishka said. She had called her mother the other day and she had gone on and on about “that nice Jewish boy” that she insisted was named Bernie and had wanted to know if he had a brother for her. “Anyway, while Greta’s sushi platter was awesome, it’s not kosher, and,” she held her hand, “that’s beside the point. You’re supposed to eat anything fried, because it’s supposed to remind us of the oil that was found in the temple, which miraculously burned for eight days and nights, while they rededicated it. So that’s why we traditionally eat latkes and have jelly donuts for dessert.”


“And as for decorations, really the only thing we traditionally do is get out the menorah. The rest is all stuff that was ‘invented’ to help makes us feel more assimilated and not left out during the holiday season. I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but Jewish holidays go by the uh, Hebrew Calendar date, which is why they tend to move around. Plus it’s something fun for kids to do. Maria and Fritz told me they liked making them, so don’t worry about it, okay?” She had the feeling the kids had no idea what they were doing or why, except it would make her happy, so they went along with their father’s “craziness.”

“Really? So when’s Hanukah next year?”

“I looked it up and it falls on Christmas Eve and ends on New Year’s Day. Is that going to conflict with anything?”

Bernd thought it over. “I don’t think so.” He grinned. “We could always have a big Christmas-slash-Hanukah thing! You eat fish, right?”

“Yeah…?” She wondered where he was going with this.

“Tino’s doing the Feast of Seven Fishes next year.”

“Oh…” She looked at him like he had three heads.

“It’s an Italian thing. They eat fish on Christmas Eve and you’re supposed to eat seven different kinds,” he explained. “So maybe we could do both and get that sushi menorah again?”

Mishka laughed. “Yeah… And if you have any more questions, just ask me, okay?”

“Okay.” Bernd hugged her. “You wanna watch the end of this with me? It’s really cute.”

“No, I’ve already watched it enough times with you and the kids to be able to recite dialogue. Enjoy it.” She got up to leave.

“Thanks…” He hit play and went back to watching the DVD.

Mishka left his room. She had the feeling next year’s Hanukah extravaganza was going to outdo this previous one.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 26th, 2016 03:43 pm (UTC)
Ugly wrong Hanukah sweaters are a real thing, aren't they? /sigh/
Nov. 26th, 2016 08:49 pm (UTC)
Sadly, they are. XD
Jan. 16th, 2017 11:52 pm (UTC)
Bernd really needed that.
Jan. 17th, 2017 12:29 am (UTC)
Yup! XD
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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