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Bingo 8: Stupid Extra Fur

Title: Stupid Extra Fur
Prompt: Aggressively Festive Holiday Sweater
Fandom: Original
Characters: Sammy, Bernd’s unnamed dogs, Bernd, Minky, Amber, and Wolfgang
Word count: 852
Rating: G
Summary: Bernd puts a sweater on Sammy…
Author’s Note: Special thanks to Kat for pinking this for me. Also please note Sammy, Minky, and Amber belong to Kat, I’m just borrowing them.

“Here, Sammy!!”

The corgi lifted his head at the sound of that voice. It belonged to the pale human, the one that was always giving him treats, when it was not messing with the fluff balls, or trying to add extra “fur” to him.

“Here, Sammy! No, not you two!”

Sammy snorted. If dogs could laugh, he would have been rolling on the floor by now. The slight whine of irritation to the voice only meant one thing; the fluff balls were begging for the treats meant for him. The corgi got up from his comfortable flop on the den floor and trotted over to where the voice had come from. Sure enough, the fluff balls were busy dancing around the pale one’s feet. Sammy sat down and panted. The corgi knew if he waited long enough, the fluff balls would leave and he would get the treats intended for him.

As one fluff ball trotted past, Sammy tilted his head. The poor thing was covered in extra fur. Sammy whined when he realized so was the other one. He got up and was about to leave when the pale one said,

“Sammy, sit!”

Of course he sat, “Mommy” had taught him to. Mommy also covered him in extra fur, but made it fun. The pale one made it pure torture! It was like going to the vet with all the poking and prodding and shots! Okay, maybe there were not any shots, but still. Besides, he was nobody’s
“princess.” That was what those two fur balls were for! As if they were not fluffy enough, the pale one added all sorts of extra fur to them.

So when the pale one came over to him, bringing treats, Sammy happily ate them. He even liked the silly game he was playing as it meant more treats! What he did not like was being tricked into wearing more fur. Sammy got up and shook himself. Sadly, that did not dislodge the extra fur and only succeeded in bringing the fur balls over to him. They yapped and danced and acted like idiots, but Sammy had to admit, the pale one seemed happy about it.

“Awe… Don’t you babies look adorable in your Christmas sweaters?” The pale one handed out treats. “Sorry, Sammy, you’ve got a Hanukkah sweater.” He patted Sammy on the head, prompting another round of yapping from the fur balls. “Vati loves you too!” The pale one lavished his attention on them, much to Sammy’s relief.

It was short lived, however, as the next thing Sammy knew, he was being enticed over to a weird looking thing with some strange colors on it, with promises of more treats. Of course Sammy followed, not even the fur balls were dumb enough to give up free food! So the corgi sat there, flanked by a fur ball, while the pale one held up a little box and flashed lights at them. Sammy shook himself, prompting the fur balls to do the same and flopped down. The corgi did not care if it made the pale one growl or not. Sammy learned long ago that that one was all bark and no bite. Not even the promise of more treats could get him to sit up and “behave.” Eventually the fur balls wandered off, the pale one in tow, leaving Sammy alone. He dozed lightly until he heard it, the sound signaling Mommy’s return.

Sammy got up and trotted over to wait by the mudroom door. She entered minutes later and they both fussed over each other as if they had not seen each other in years, instead of hours. That’s when she noticed the extra fur. Sammy tried to lick the frown off her face to no avail. Mommy got up and shouted,

“BERND! What the hell is Sammy doing in that ridiculous sweater?!” She looked down at Sammy and pulled off the extra fur much to his delight. “BERND!!”

The pale one came running followed by the yapping fluff balls. “I was trying to take a pic of all them for our holiday cards since the kids are too big, well Fritz is anyways, to want to sit for one…”

“It’s July! And you’ve stuffed him in a sweater! The poor thing must have been dying from the heat.”

Sammy wagged his butt. Mommy was yapping at the pale one and he looked properly submissive. Even better, the extra fur was gone. Sammy looked from Mommy to the pale one to the other pale one with the snaky fur on her head, who was now yelling at the pale one and holding a fluff ball. The other one still had the extra fur and was no doubt yapping about getting it off. Sammy barked, briefly quieting the yelling, before trotting off to the den where it was nice and cool. The old one, who gave great belly rubs, was there now and Sammy lay down at his feet. The old one patted him, before settling back to ignore him, which Sammy liked. Life was good as far as the corgi was concerned.


the Duchess of Crack! and the Queen of Fluff

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